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Budgie Joke Page
"Bad Mouth Parrot"
There's this fellow with a parrot. And the parrot swears like a sailor. I mean he's a
pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the
guy who owns him is a quiet, polite, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is
driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the parrot by the throat, shakes him
really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!". This just makes the bird mad and he swears
more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says "OK for you" and locks the bird in a kitchen
cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches. When the guy finally
lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make a veteran
sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first
few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes and uses words
Lenny Bruce and George Carlin NEVER thought about trying to use in their acts.
Then suddenly, it gets VERY quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt or
deeply chilled. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens the
freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about
the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astonished. He can't understand the transformation that has taken place.
Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"
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